Tarot and Astrology on the worst day of my life
It was an ordinary early spring morning. I woke up early to wake my 16-year-old son Richie for school… this often took several attempts, as it does for many teenagers. I made myself coffee and, as per my daily routine, pulled a tarot card for my day. I remember it so vividly because, in retrospect, it was relevant—though at first, I denied it after the events that unfolded that day.
I drove my son to school, after our daily stop at Dunkin’ Donuts for his morning coffee and bagel. I cherished those few minutes together each morning because he was an active, outgoing teen who didn’t exactly want to hang out with his mom. As he was leaving the car, the last thing I said to him was, “Richie, pull up your jeans. I can see your underwear.” This would later haunt me for several years.
Going back to the tarot… I had pulled the Two of Wands earlier that morning. This card falls in the first decan of Aries, ruled by Mars. This card is about considering your actions, moving out of your comfort zone, and taking courageous action. I also see it as a threshold space… deciding whether to stay or go. The man is holding the globe—the world in his hands—contemplating: what to do now?
Without going into morbid detail, my son died in a tragic dirt bike accident in the early evening. I was shocked and devastated beyond comprehension. I was at a local Kabbalah class when it happened, and my husband was away on a business trip. I realized soon after that I had experienced several premonitions that were trying to prepare me for this… urges to run up and hug him, begging him to stay off the dirt bike, calling my husband to ask him to come home early because I had a feeling I was going to need him that week. Others happened even years earlier. Never once did I consider a tragedy of this magnitude would occur.
The astrological transits were challenging… I was having a Mars return that very day in my twelfth house of endings and solitude. Transiting Pluto in my fifth house of children was in square aspect to my natal Mercury in the third house, while transiting Saturn conjoined my natal Mercury at 1 degree of Libra. Transiting Neptune at 27 Aquarius was in square to my natal Venus in Scorpio in the fourth house of home and family. Transiting Uranus was in the late degrees of Pisces, about to enter 0 degrees of Aries in my eighth house of death, just as Neptune is getting ready to do the same at the end of this month in 2025.
My entire life changed in a moment, to say the least. I was so angry and, for a time, lost my faith. I could not look at the Two of Wands without crying. One day, a few years later, I took that card out and realized its symbolism was accurate. I now see it as a confirmation that my son was at the threshold after death, and I imagine him preparing to leave at such a young and tender age.
Thankfully, I did regain my faith, and it’s stronger than ever… even after several more family tragedies to come in the years following.
In the end, tarot and astrology helped me with accepting circumstances beyond my control. It later provided me comfort to see that life is full of both joy and sorrow. I was not immune to suffering, and I survived the unimaginable.